“We Have Communication Problems”

Frequent disagreements, insensitive comments, and negative perceptions of a partner often underlie couples’ decisions to seek counseling.  Unfortunately, many couples (married, engaged, or dating) engage in destructive cycles for an extended time before they seek help, causing impatience, weariness, and suffering.  Moreover, they have oftentimes decided that leaving the relationship is the only way to escape misery.  They “show up” for therapy sessions to ease their conscience and to tell themselves they “tried everything” before leaving.  If a person attends counseling only to highlight the partner’s flaws and to give the partner “one last chance to change,” Ravita says that person has not invested in the process.  Whether by action or inaction, both partners contribute to disillusionment.  Couples who gain success with abandoning patterns of conflict and creating a more loving union focus on the following:

  1. Speaking and behaving differently to build effective communication, trust, and respect
  2. Looking for their partner’s loving, heart’s intentions instead of criticizing all he or she does “wrong”
  3. Identifying unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners

Ravita can help couples learn/apply effective self-management and communication skills when they are willing to exercise the self-control, maturity, and loving behavior necessary to improve relationships.  Two becoming one does not usually happen without deliberate, intentional, loving efforts.  For assistance on this beautiful journey, call (919-266-4646) or email ( Ravita.